Still

 

my beautiful boy
saved the neighbors
with an anthem and a cape
he topped the trees, dared storms
when he flew,
no branch had strength to catch him
I loved him still
after his fall to chaos

my mama tried
I think she tried
to love us more than she could
then she was gone.
I loved her, a loving so lonely
at least gone was done
Still, I tried to cry
for a mama who knew to love

my brother
took the girls to the park
left them to the slide and swings
and other wicked things
noticing little girls laughing
alone
I love him still, but my girls more
our door, our home, is closed

my beautiful boy
my missing mother
my brother, leaving my children alone

I know to harden my heart
to concede
you cannot be redeemed
and still, I love
my boy
my mama
my brother
I still love the you I loved
more than I’ll say,
more than I should